From April Silver.

My Letter to the President Will Have to Wait

by April R. Silver

November 5, 2008

“Let’s just remember and remember and remember black love. There must be something inherently right about that.” – – – “Hot Beverage in Winter” by Ras Baraka featuring Lauryn Hill (Shorty for Mayor CD, 1998)

Early this morning, Barack Obama gave his acceptance speech as President Elect of the United States of America. No one can fully comprehend the depth and scope of this in just the first few hours of this new day. Everything is surreal and I am simultaneously concerned and excited. In all my natural leanings toward wanting to be objective and sober, I could not help but give in to the emotional weight of the moment.

“The day after the revolution is the hardest part of the work.” I heard this first during my student activist days at Howard University. Who will stay to do the work when the euphoria subsides? Will the electorate’s perseverance match our passion? And would an Obama administration do all the things that Obama would lead us to believe it can do? These and other critical questions are crashing around in my head, but I will save my “Dear, Mr. President” letter for another time. Even in these moments after the speech, I am moved by something that is less political…something right beneath the surface of this historic moment: the Michelle and Barack black-on-black love story. I have been checking them out, as a couple, since 2004 and today my delight with Michelle and Barack is unspeakable. In fact, I think their black-on-black love story is as powerful and enduring a message as any ground-breaking political symbol that this election represents.

While high profile marriages often seem manufactured and obligatory (I certainly thought that of John and Cindy, and even Bill and Hilary); I don’t get that from Michelle and Barack. I see a sincere relationship handled with loving affection. Whenever they are together, even in front of thousands of people, don’t you get the feeling that you’re getting a glimpse of some coded language between two lovers on the move? The inter-locked fingers while hand-holding; the tug on the waist just a little below the belt; the knowing stare into each others’ eyes; Michelle’s tendency to lean gently on Barack’s face…eyes closed, savoring; the whispering in each other’s ears; or the now infamous “pound” (known to outsiders as the “fist-bump” or the “terrorist jab”). I guarantee my weight in gold that most women – regardless of race – have noticed these things. And I double guarantee that Black women have talked about these nuances longer than any group.

Like most Black women in my circle – straight and lesbian – I am absolutely giddy that Obama is partnered with a Black woman (of the browner hue, too!). That Michelle epitomizes strength and intelligence is heavenly. I’m sure my mild obsession with this power couple has something to do with my current station as a 40 year old whose love life sounds less like “Yes, we can!” and more like “Oh no he didn’t!” But an appreciation of the whole “Michelle Factor” in this presidential election is probably heralded most by Black women because we know something about the pain that comes from being rejected by Black men. For us, Michelle and her marriage run counter to the notion that it is okay for Black men (or anyone) to disregard, betray, con, or abuse us (or any woman, for that matter). On the contrary, their marriage shows us one more Black woman who is loved, respected, adored, and affirmed as a partner. That opportunity does not come often enough. So we are happy for Michelle, living vicariously through her, hoping to duplicate our own version of her good fortune. We know that there is something inherently right about Black love. With Michelle helping to bring that to the White House, backed with a Stevie Wonder soundtrack, well Good God! It’s barely believable. Dare we conjure up what that could mean for the relationships in our homes, in our communities?

I have no illusions that the Obamas’ union is perfect, but I know a love balance when I see one. The Obamas may not intend for their partnership to have a positive affect on Black families, but we know that it will. In all their requirements to be general and all-inclusive as they transform into the President and First Lady of the United States of America, they can’t hide their own happy love affair…and that’s a good thing! If this black-on-black love affair with Michelle is the only signal that comes from Barack that let’s African Americans know that he “sees” us, then I’ll take it! His choice of Michelle as his wife and his affection towards her seems to suggest a great deal about him, who he can relate to, and in whose arms he feels safe. That is more powerful than any words he can say.